If Things Had Gone as Planned...

The plan was always to teach. From second grade on, the plan was I would become a teacher, most likely in an elementary school, as it was my second grade teacher Miss Egan who was always my inspiration. 

Everything Was Different

My family had moved from Canada to Buffalo the summer before second grade. And while the move was only about 2 hours, it felt like we moved across the world.  The neighborhood was different, the grocery stores were different. School was different. 

My Saving Grace

And while I looked like most of the kids in my class, one thing stood out. I sounded different. I don’t remember a lot from that year. But I do remember, starting in one class, being switched into another class, and that room was with Miss Egan.  I remember talking on my first day and the first person I spoke to commented on how I sounded different.  I don’t even think it was malicious or with any intent other than what seconds graders often do…pointing out the obvious. I sounded different. 

But that was all it took for me to shut down and stay quiet. That is, until Miss Egan worked her magic. Okay, maybe not magic, but that’s what it felt like to me. Here I was as a second grader, not ready to share my voice, yet she still helped me feel included and welcomed every day of that year. 

Everyone’s Favorite Question

She was the inspiration for every year after that when someone asked, ‘what do you want to do when you grow up’? My answer was always ‘teach’.  Everything I did from second grade on was done with the mindset of, this will help me when I am a teacher. From volunteering opportunities to classes I took, to conferences I attended, everything was done with teaching in mind. 

Dreams vs. Reality

So now, let’s fast forward to September 2006. I had been provided my first teaching position. I spent most of the summer prepping for my class. I was at school more than I’d like to admit, and I spent way more time and money prepping than I definitely would like to admit. But it was okay, because this was my dream. This was the moment I had waited since second grade for. The moment that I had been getting ready for for so many years. And as soon as it came, I quickly found myself wishing I had dreamed a different dream. 

I kept finding myself returning to that first sentence in this post. 

The plan was always to teach. 

Funny how life works, right? I’m not sure if funny is the best word, because in the moments, it was anything but funny. But now looking back, at everything I have had the opportunity to experience because “teaching” didn’t work out as planned, I can’t help but smile. 

Because here is what I know…

If things had gone as planned, I wouldn’t have…

  • Had the opportunity to meet some of the most phenomenal people I know 

  • Been mentored by so many amazing educators 

  • Worked with hundreds of families advocating for their children 

  • Found my passion in behavior change 

  • Found my purpose in helping educators redefine their mindset when it comes to living a life to best serve themselves 

  • Created Define YOUniversity 

  • Received my BCBA, LBA, and Administrative Certifications 

  • Been able to experience so many different types of educational settings

And the biggest one to date…

If things had gone as planned, I wouldn’t have discovered who I truly AM. 


Andrea Bonior, author of Detox Your Thoughts, states we must “be willing to let go of the exact vision we have carried”. And, in my opinion, she is spot on with this one! Being willing to let go of our plan, of our vision, of this past version of what we thought our future was going to be, provides opportunities to create a present day version of ourselves that we love every single day. 

Create a New Vision

The amount of growth that occurs when you release the past ‘definitions’ you are holding onto, and open yourself up to who YOU get to be, is truly monumental. And since this is YOUR life we are talking about, don’t YOU deserve to live a life with a vision YOU love right now? 

Time to Reflect

Take a moment to reflect on those last two paragraphs.  What ‘outdated’ vision are YOU holding onto? What vision for your life, have you been carrying around with you, that you are ready to release? Or, better yet…take that vision, and create a bulleted list of your own.  Because that vision didn’t turn out as planned, what happened because of it. 

Things in life rarely go as planned.

And that is the beauty of life. The serendipitous nature of living provides us experiences that we could never plan for ourselves. Instead of resenting what hasn’t come to existence, let’s unite in gratitude for all that has! 

If things had gone as planned, I wouldn’t have discovered who I truly AM. 

Lindsay Titus